Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
