After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
