He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
