she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
