and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize