you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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