I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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