I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize