new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
