Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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