He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
