we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
