I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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