Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
