omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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