Will you blow on my dice?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
