Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
