So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
