i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
