yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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