sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Where is the hickey?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
