Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
