I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
