its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
