Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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