She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We left an ass print on the piano.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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