My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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