$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
