I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I use my feet as sexual weapons
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize