Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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