I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
