hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
