is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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