ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize