i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
