Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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