How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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