I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
