Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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