The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Randomize
