You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize