I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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