just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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