I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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