You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
