I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
