I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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