i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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