he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
