So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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