I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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