i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
