Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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