so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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