This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
