I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
