nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
