If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
