I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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